playing favorites;

it has been a while since my last post. My spring break officially ended today, back to school was hectic. People who didn’t do their duties, were then passed on to me where i had to play hero and get it all done. however the RVHS Golf page for yearbook will be looking pretty damn good this year. 

over spring break i saw it all. Raging parties, and phucked up fights. Sisters who played strip pool with each other and a 3 year relationship get put back on hold. that is what has killed me most, although spring break ’09 had its amazing points, the part of getting my heart broken however is what won and is what i will mostly remember for the years. I’ve realized that nothing goes my way in the end. I think thats how it is suppose to be, hopefully. I want to see good come out of this. Right now i’m just seeing the bad and i’m not expecting anything else. Friends have really been there. Someone told me this past week told me:

I think that you are amazing and one of a kind…. and if you look too hard you wont be able to see what is right in front of you willing and ready. Give it a shot and see what happens. Maybe you’ll get the ball before it Hits the ground

I’m not ready for anything right now though. I am torn, I feel like my body is a shell and my soul is missing. Hopefully finding God because I know I need Him. I hope your happy..

newport;

beach this weekend was legit. It was pretty much just a chill weekend with my bestfriend normac. hit up a beach party at laguna and ended up just playing some beach ball. balboa bars over looking the ocean on the pier made me realize a lot. when doing this i just thought of what i wanted in life. what is needed right now. Girls are always on my mind but they just kill me. i don’t understand them nor will i ever. but over looking the ocean was quite spectacular.

shesgotstyle;

what are the odds of finding someone just like you?

so this song shesgotstyle by nevershoutnever! has been on repeat the past 4 days now and i don’t know why. maybe its because its catchy; or the fact every time i hear it i think of her? girls just confuse me and right now i have no idea what i’m doing or what i’m suppose to be doing. i’m afraid of being hurt, i’m afraid of hurting someone, i guess i’m just a big baby but i’m scared. i’ve give my heart away once so easily and like all it came crashing down; worse then 911 and i know thats a horrible thing to compare to. today was just an average day. nothing exciting, practice was practice, school was school, but tonight i got the chance to share a drive with Edward; now Ed is a great guy, i’d say 6’1 and wears nothing then american apparel. He is just himself, he is a true individual, not a copy of anything other then what he feels. he is someone i call my best friend and tonight we talked about best friends and what it means. is it just a title like we’re good friends like he’s my best friend. or is it just because you want to feel like you really have great friends in life? now we decided we are great friends that means we are just like best friends however we do not see each other as much as we’d like. Ed cheers me up a lot and we just conversed on catching up on where we are in life. we are growing in life, moving up on the tree. we are discovering who we are in life, faith, and the world. where we stand and where they stand. i’m now in bed getting my feelings out on this, i’m still listening to my song on repeat. oh and might i add the moon tonight was absolutely pulchritudinous; and the best part was she was looking at it thinking the same thing. 

 

goodnight world;

exhaustion;

has struck me. I never fully comprehended the whole Eat, Sleep, Breath (insert article here) until this weekend. I can officially say ‘I eat, sleep, and breath Volleyball.’ My friday consisted of 4 hours of volleyball practice. Saturday was my high schools’ team jamboree at Pleasant Valley and Sunday was my club girls tournament which totaled roughly 12 hours. All I did over the weekend was to do with volleyball minus friday night where i got to enjoy hanging out with my child hood best friend, and Saturday night at TK’s house for her Grandma’s 80th birthday where i found out her ex boyfriend had the joy of spending the night at her house with her the night before. 

and now today March 9th, 2009 

Exhaustion has finally taken place on my body. I slept all through the night and the morning hours. I woke up at 7:40 and realized there was no way i’d be making it to school on time. So i took my time getting ready in hopes of impressing her(i’ll refer to her, the mystery girl, as Scott from here on out.) I roll into school bumping Ten Falls Forth, i highly recommend them. As i walk into music theory i notice my good friend Beck sitting waiting for me as she does everyday. So lower myself onto the floor and put my back against the cabinet and ask, how was your weekend. our weekend update took about 20 minutes. At this time i was done talking and ready to go back to sleep. I looked around for a blanket type material to throw over myself for i was freezing. only thing i found was a HUGE stand up bass case and i crawled inside of it and zipped myself up. I slept through the rest of the period and as i was waking up from my little nap i noticed my teacher laughing her head off at me. she said i was very clever and deserved some kind of a award for making the worlds weirdest sleeping bag. In second period, leadership, i did a whole lot of nothing. some ASB President right? I mean i did do a lot of work on the upcoming elections of where i’m going to be losing my office so i’m not to enthralled with it. Now throughout leadership today TK and I were texting and i told her i can’t go to prom with the ‘showstoppers’ and she didn’t understand at all and simply told me to ‘never speak to her again’ I was pretty upset and hurt but the bell for break rang through my ears and i knew what that meant. Normally i just stay in the leadership classroom or go into my office during my break, however today was different. I went straight to Scott to see her. She cut her hair over the weekend and was begging me to tell her how i honestly felt about it and to be honest when i saw her, i didn’t notice the hair, i noticed how stunning she looked. her hair shorter now but her smile didn’t fall short of nothing. it brightened up my day in an instant. She didn’t run straight over to me which i was surprised to be honest but i played it off as if i didn’t even notice. we met eyes and smiled and i turned away to Pedro, the mexican exchange student. I know what you’re thinking i have this girl staring into my eyes and i turn to a boy named Pedro.. well it was needed for he was showing me his experiment. he is shaving parts of his stomach and chest to see if shaving cream does truly help. by this time Scott made her way to me and my sister. We laughed with Pedro as he told us some stories and how he was too dreading volleyball practice today. The bell rang and we were off to third period. She walked me to class and i was being as flirtatious as possible without being too over the top. Class went by very slow today for i had nothing to do. nothing happened so there is nothing to write about. the bell rang and i was done for the day. My best friend Max and I decided to go out to Chipotle to lunch today and as we indulged  over our hearty burritos we conversed about volleyball and how he too wasn’t looking forward to todays practice. Over the weekend we missed a combined 30 serves so for each serve we missed we owed one volleyball liner. so no one i think was looking forward to running 30 liners. After lunch i ventured on my way home and slept till 3:10. i woke up and drove my lazy self to school for practice. I walked in and noticed all the team there with our coach M.I.A. so i took the time to give them a pep talk about todays practice. Practice went on as normal, today was actually very light. I was very surprised, however with the last 20 minutes of practice she sent everyone to the end line; it was time. I just went for it. we only did 15 today so it wasn’t as bad however it was still pretty brutal. Now normally every monday after my practice i go coach however today i took a mental health day for my exhaustion and came straight home. The first thing i did was text Scott telling her i was done! and after that i noticed the bundle of missed calls and unanswered text messages. I noticed TK text me and in it she said “hey i’m not going to prom anymore with them so we can still go.” I asked what happened and i apparently the ‘show stoppers’ had a fall out. I don’t know how girls work and honestly i don’t ever want to know. girls are so confusing and fickle. I thought about it and i had to tell her that prom wasn’t going to happen. I can’t let a girl walk all over me running my life anymore. she was very upset with the news but understood why. As i got home i noticed some dust on my dresser so instead of just dusting it, i went A wall and cleaned my entire room. Now when i say i cleaned my room, i mean DEEP CLEANING! however now i’m laying in bed looking around and feel very relieved. After cleaning i took a nice long hot bath with some bath salt i picked up last time i was in San Francisco. After my bath I asked Scott if she was still wanting to go to yogurt however she denied me tonight. i was pretty upset just because i was really looking forward to seeing her however she had a legitimate excuse so no harm, no foul. I went to yogurt still by myself to take a picture of a student at my school at work. While i was in there we conversed with her co-worker who was quite the eye catcher and i couldn’t help but think she was checking me out. And that brings me here; laying down on my bed with my mac, listening to nevershoutnever! on repeat, the song choice “she’s got style” this song reminds me of Scott so it may be the reason i’ve had it on repeat for the past three days but who knows. Today i learned and realized i can’t and i won’t let girls walk over me, and that my happiness is important. 

Make it a great day!

Nerves;

of people today really get to me. 

Today has been a big cluster fuck of shit. I show up to school early as can be to show off my new tattoo. One girl inpeticular wanted to see it so bad, she just had to be the first. And honestly i didn’t mind. I think she is amazing however very illegal. not only is she underage by 2 years she is also a player on my volleyball team that i coach. This is just me asking for trouble right? so I see her and we embrace with a huge hug and a smile. i don’t hesitate to pull up my pant leg to show her my new addition to my body art. she digs it but starts lecturing me saying NO MORE! this is where i tune out because i’m sick of hearing you’re gonna regret these tattoos.. honestly if i do then i do. but right now i love them and i’m pretty damn sure music will be with me forever. unless i go deaf. anyways the bell rings and we part with another hug. i walk to first period with a confident stride feeling really good about myself. First period is my music theory class. Today we had a quiz on how many sharps and flats are in each key, i simply chuckled. i sit with a bunch of sophmores and juniors in this class, mainly because the few seniors in there are so full of themselves and steal attention from anyone and everyone. they think they are so cool yet they suck at life. so as i sit there in a circle of 6 kids we just start joking and laughing at Pedro. Pedro is an exchange student from Mexico and yesterday i told him he must shave his shit to get laid and he comes in to class saying how he did. and the sick fuck decided to show me. i couldn’t help but laugh. class flew by and i was bored 95% of the time. the bell rings and i’m off to leadership. This is where it turns.

I walk into second period facing terrible news. A good friend who was recently jumped in a fight was going into surgery today to fix his broken face. I got wind of the fact he passed away during surgery due to blockage of the nasal passage. I didn’t know what to think. I was stunned and shocked how fast life can be taken from a human being, especially one of the age of 16. It was yesterday that i last talked to him. i was in utter shock and disbelief. all period i  over the loss of Kyle. I walked into the office to see my second mom and everyone looks at me as if i was the one who had died. they all comment on how i was taking my death walked and i needed to smile. I just thought the nerve of people today, as if they knew what i was going through. and i’m sure they know exactly how it feels to lose someone close to you but i wasn’t thinking of them, i was thinking of kyle, his family, and how fast life can go. I ended up telling a secretary of why i was so upset and she comforted me saying ‘honey its just a rumor he’s alive sweetie.’ I was like don’t try to cheer me up with horrid lies about his life. Then i noticed kyles ex girlfriend balling her eyes out in the office talking to an officer about the situation, and i thought this has to be true. but little did i know it wasn’t. It wasn’t until 30 minutes later did i get a phone call saying kyle is alive playing video games next to his furious dad of why someone would start such a horrid rumor. and i just started to think the nerve of kids to start a rumor over someones life.. i mean HONESTLY? go fuck yourself.

my day then started to pick up from there on out. i was really confused about the whole situation but realized its just a rumor. lunch rolls around and its my time to go. as i’m leaving i feel a sharp pain on my ass. i turn and i see her; the player on my volleyball team. i started to laugh then embrace her for yet again another hug. we laughed and talked for a few minutes. I then decided i would come back to school to bring her and my sister a slurpee. so as i’m dropping off their slurpees she tells me ‘masson we’re going to sadies!’ and i couldn’t help but smile, but i played it off cool. and i said well you better ask me in a cute way. 

now i’m going to skip to now, 8:20pm 

the nerve of people kill me still to this hour of the day. Me and my ex(i’ll refer to her as TK from here on out) made a promise to attend the Prom this year together no matter what and this year going with MY friends not the ‘showstoppers’ however it doesn’t seem like this is going to happen. she is set on going with them so i thought of a way to get my bestfriend(M) in with me. He has the hots for one showstopper(TOKE) especially however there is another one who is all up on his junk(cockblock) . SO me and M devise a plan to get him and Toke to go together and get cockblock to go with a mutual friend that way me and TK could still go together and both be happy. however toke doesn’t enjoy this idea. so i’ve realized i’m screwed. TK refuses to keep to her promise to me and i refuse to spend an entire night with the ‘showstoppers’ and a bunch of douche bag boys i don’t get along with. then again i don’t get drunk nighlty so what am i to expect. FUCK Masson! you’re stupid… 

so today i go from confident to shot down to dateless.
SICK! love life, enjoy it for what it is, and just not gonna have a worry anymore.

tattoo;

shop tonight was ridiculous.

let me say that again RIDICULOUS!

I come in tonight to get some touch up work on my arm and as i roll in tired as can be from my exhausting day (working, playing volleyball, coaching volleyball) it can get exhausting. So as i walk in Kris greets me as usual and i notice two new faces. both are friends of my artist(kris). they see i’m coming in for some work and they both simultaneously start complaining to kris saying WTF dude, lets GO, the bars are awaiting! i laughed and think to myself, def not tonight boys, i’ve been in here the past 3 days its finally my turn. he takes a look at my arm and says ‘two more weeks..’ i was disappointed but was determined to get something done!  I’ve wanted a treble clef on my foot for a while now to cover some mistakes i’ve made in the past. So i told him and he said ‘well i can do that tonight. lets have a cig and we’ll get going.’ let me tell you i’ve never seen another human being suck nicotine and tar down there lungs so fast.  as we walk outside we notice friend #2 has a white stain on the back of his black jacket. I noticed this first and realized i can’t pass up this opportunity. so we start joking about how he told him not to get it all over his jacket when he pulled out but he simply missed. after 2 minutes of being outside we all head back in to get ready for my foot. Friend #2 mentions he wanted shrooms so friend #1 calls up some people. in the meantime me, kris and friend #2 just go on about bad drug experiences and how badly #2 wanted to eat $50 dollars worth tonight. friend #1 relayed the information that its not a possibility tonight and he decides hes gonna bounce. he obviously was a piece of shit for wanting to leave, i mean i was there for a total of 5 minutes at this time and he was that bored. friend 2 is a pal however and decides to stick it out. we get the treble clef on my foot and decide its time to start. the initial line was brutal and it got worse. i soon realized the foot is NOT a good idea. we all sat there laughing and talking (trying to ignore the throbbing in my foot as 3 needles dug deep into my skin injecting black ink into my skin) our choice conversation was drugs tonight, which i find funny because here they are talking about bad acid trips and shrooms. From E to weed and beer to mirrors. i kept laughing and going along with it. its funny because people(even i) change if they are around different scenarios. i sat there laughing agreeing with them as if i’ve had bad acid rips or a bad batch of shrooms. however it was HILARIOUS topic. there stories of mirrors and colored lights getting the best of them. by this time my treble clef was COMPLETE! i was excited and it looked amazing. Kris then suggest he put a few music notes toward my ankle and as i thought there i thought of how bad that would hurt, and he looks at me and says ‘pain?’ and i nodded and said ‘fuck it’ and him and #2 say ‘FUCK IT! lets do it’ i trust kris a lot when it comes to art on my body which i find you need in a tattoo artist because thats on you for life man. i’m looking down at my foot and just am smiling. it looks amazing and just keep laughing about tonight. moral of this story, don’t do drugs and if you do, make sure you have an amazing story to tell.

playing catch up;

so just recently i’ve decided to get into the world of blogging.  a good friend of mine uses wordpress, i was using blogger. he dared me to try this so here i am and i like this much much better. i’m going to post my most recent blogs starting from today on, on here from now on out.  i’m gonna give you a brief description; i’m young and full of myself. i put up with many and respect few. i am all about having a good time and am constantly on the run. i believe whatever im saying is better then what you have to say. this shall be fun since its all my opinion. lets just see how it goes from here on out

i hope you endulge